


Someday never comes

by killerweasel



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 21:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/666798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How long do you wait for the other person to make the first move?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someday never comes

Title: Someday never comes  
Fandom: Angel  
Characters: Lindsey McDonald, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Angel  
Prompt: 093. Break-up.  
Word Count: 1,306  
Rating: R

AU after _Epiphany_

**Someday never comes**

“You had no right barging into my meeting like that!” I jabbed him in the chest with my finger and he curled his hand around my wrist, slowly adding pressure until I had to grit my teeth.

“If you hadn’t stolen my car, I wouldn’t have had to barge anywhere, you annoying little pain in the ass.”

The pain in my wrist had reached the point where I could almost feel the bones starting to grind together. “I needed something to drive since someone drove my fucking truck through a house!” I needed to get loose and tried to come up with a plan to work. Then I got an idea.

My foot lashed out, connecting solidly with his kneecap. When he snarled, I yanked my body backwards as hard as I could. My wrist slipped loose from his fingers and I went flying across the room. I felt my shoulders and back slam into something solid. Angel was advancing on me and I tried to get up, but my legs didn’t want to work.

“What the hell is going on in here?”

The last thing I saw before I passed out was someone getting between the two of us, pushing Angel away from me.

\---

My eyes fluttered open as I groaned. Where was Angel? I started to sit up to look around and a sharp pain in my back made me change my mind. “Are you two even capable of having a conversation without it turning into violence?”

I turned my head to see the Ex-Watcher staring at me from the doorway. “I don’t think that’s possible.” Glancing down at my wrist, I winced as I took in the finger-shaped bruises. “Where am I?”

He came into the room and sat down on the bed next to me. “You’re in my flat. I thought Angel was going to kill you. He hasn’t exactly been the most stable person recently.”

“Neither have I.” That was a huge understatement. I hadn’t felt like myself since before I’d lost my hand. “What did I hit?”

“I think it was the corner of his desk.” He looked me over. “Do you have a death wish, Mr. McDonald?”

I laughed and it wasn’t a pleasant sound at all. “What if I do? I waited for it when he locked us inside of that room. She teased me with it and then denied me. He won’t do it either, he’s too fucking noble. That’s why he walked away, letting Darla and Drusilla do his dirty work for him.”

“I think I understand Angel’s need to hurt you.” Wesley pinched the bridge of his nose. “You can stay here tonight and then I’ll take you home.”

Sitting up hurt like hell, but I managed to do it this time. Then I worked on removing my shirt. “Can you look at my back and tell me how bad it is?”

He leaned in and I heard him suck in a breath. “That can’t all be from tonight.” His fingers brushed gently over my skin, making me shudder at the sensation.

“Did he bother telling you how he suddenly had a ratty old truck in his possession the other night?” Somehow I doubted that very much. Angel only seemed to speak about things he wanted others to know. The rest he kept locked away inside of his head. “Or even mention why he was such a mess?”

“Let me guess, the two of you had a nice chat?” Wesley’s fingers made their way down my back, checking out each bruise carefully. “And right here, this is where you hit the desk. You’re lucky you didn’t catch your skull on the corner, otherwise I doubt we’d even be having this conversation.”

“I hit him with my truck and then with a sledgehammer until I couldn’t feel my arm any more. There was a stake in my trunk. I knew I wouldn’t be able to use it, but I went for it anyway. We’re more alike than he’ll ever see. Or maybe he does see and that’s why he does what he does.” I bit my lip when Wesley’s fingers probed the dent in my back.

“We need the pain, the blood, and the violence to be reminded that we’re still here in this world. While the scars on the outside might fade, the ones on the inside will last forever. They’ll never heal over, never improve. It’s too late for that.”

I was quiet for a few minutes as I removed the brace on my bad arm. Then I shifted my body so I could see him better. Wesley sighed. “He can’t give you what you want, Mr. McDonald.”

“Call me Lindsey.”

“Lindsey... Angel is...” He looked up as if to seek help from the heavens on how to explain this properly. “In many ways, he’s blind to the world around him. He doesn’t see things for how they are or chooses to ignore the truth. I think if one was to beat him over the head with the truth, he’d still shrug it off.”

My eyes met his for a second and it took my brain a moment, but I understood what he was talking about. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for him to act? The first time he touched me, I wanted more. Was it like that for you, Wesley?”

I don’t think he’d been expecting the question at all because the color seemed to drain from his face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I lie for a living, I can see through bullshit. What you just said? That’s a big steaming pile of it. He’s different around you, isn’t he? There’s no pain, no violence. Maybe his touches linger just a bit longer than they should, his words have double meanings, and his glances mean more. But he never follows through with it all. I guess you and I have something in common too. We want what we’ll never have.”

And just knowing that, knowing he would never give us what we wanted, it hurt. It was like a knife twisting deep in a wound, keeping it open, never allowing it to heal. “Shut up.”

I wasn’t going to shut up, not now. “Maybe you didn’t bring me here to see if I was okay. Maybe you wanted to figure out why he can’t seem to leave me alone.”

“Shut up.” His voice shook and I could see his hands tightening into fists at his sides.

“You want to use me to make him jealous? Or just use me because you can’t have him?” I smiled and knew it wasn’t very friendly. “They all use me. The firm used me to help turn Darla. Darla used me to make Angel hurt. Go ahead Wesley, I’m right fucking here.”

He hit me hard enough to make my head rock back. My smile grew wider as blood ran down my chin. “I think I finally know why he won’t act. Angel’s afraid, Wesley. He’s afraid of what’ll happen if he gets too close, if he cares too much about the person he’s with.”

Wesley grabbed the fake hand from where I’d set it down, wrapped it in my shirt and shoved it against my chest. “Get out.”

I curled my fingers around the bundle and slowly got out of the bed. “When he finally sees you, it’ll be too late. If Angel doesn’t do anything, you need to be the one to make the next step. Make him see, Wesley. Make him hear.”

When I reached the door, I paused. “I’ll never be what he wants. But you... you have a chance. Don’t fuck it up.” Even though he didn’t say anything as I walked away, I knew he was thinking about what I’d said. Maybe he would act.


End file.
